Let Go Your Heart
by Nena
Summary: 1xR AU Western 1800s: He no longer believed what they said – that time healed everything. Nothing was healed. Nothing was easier. It was just as impossible to let go of as ever. He wouldn't confront his darkness until the man he was after was dead.
1. Bad News

Declaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing.

Author's Note: I've been on some kind of weird hiatus for months. I wanted to try something different…and I've never really written anything like this before. I've also noticed that there haven't been any multi-chapter stories out for a while in the 1xR department…and I just couldn't have that. So…here's the first chapter. I've always wanted to write something set in the Wild West!

I'd like to remind my readers that this is rated T and does contain violence, mentions of rape (not graphically), and will at some point contain Christian content. That could mean anything.

**Let Go Your Heart**

Chapter One

By: Nena

_**Dear God,**_

_**Sometimes I wonder what I'm doin here. This lil town ain't nothin but a daisy blowin in the wind. There's such greater thangs out there, my mind just knows it. I wish to Heaven I wasn't bored to tears with this place. I wish I could be like all the other girls my age who's gettin married and havin babies like there ain't no tomarrah, but I just wasn't put togetha that way, I 'spose. Why did You make me this way? Pa says I'm abnormal. He says I was born ta wrangle the bull, not pet it. He understands me better than ma does. Ma says I embarrass her, and Billy says I need to start actin like a girl and stop rough housin with him and his friends. I tried goin to Bernice later, but as soon as she saw me she made a face like she had swallowed a lemon and said "My Lord, Lena, what'd ya do, fall in the mud bog again?"I was so mad. I wanted to grab some dirt and show her what it felt like to fall into a mud bog, but her swoll' belly stopped me. She looked like she'd ate half the cattle. Ma says it's a scandal, her being pregnant and unmarried. She won't tell nobody who the daddy is. I think**_

"Ruh-LEN-uh!"

Relena Dorlian quickly grabbed the yellowed papers and pen and shoved them into her leather sack, hopping off of her bed. Not two seconds later, a tall and lanky young man rounded the corner and barreled his way into her room, skidding to a halt on his heels in front of her. She threw him an annoyed look as she pushed her hand up against his chest.

"What have I told you 'bout _knockin'_, Billy?" She said, pushing against him further until he stumbled backwards and out the door. He grabbed her hand and pulled her with him.

"I've been callin' you for five minutes! What the heck were ya' doin' in there, anyway?"

She blushed and yanked her hand out of his, slamming her bedroom door shut.

"Nuthin'! What'd ya' want me for so panicky-like? You'd think the chickens had got out again or somethin'."

He grabbed her face and stared wide-eyed into her own. "You are not goin' to believe what I'm about to tell you."

She shook her face out of his hold and swatted at him, her dungarees sagging on her skinny frame and dragging along behind her feet. She had taken them when her brother, Billy, grew too large for them. Her mother forever chided her for wearing boy's clothes, but, like her father, she was too stubborn to listen to anything her mother had to say to her.

"Billy Dorlian, if ya' don't stop playin' right this minute, I'm gonna' tell Pa what ya' did to John McCormick at the saloon last night."

She watch, satisfied, as his smile faltered and he paled. But, just as quickly, his crooked smile righted itself on his face and he clamped a hand down on her shoulder.

"I was in the fields this mornin', and I saw Douglas Jenkins walk up to daddy while he was shuckin' the corn in the barn. I was gon' sneak up on him, but when I got there they was talkin' so soft, I knew I was in on a secret."

"You was eavesdroppin'!"

"Shhhhh!" He hissed, sticking a finger up to her lips. He looked around cautiously and then leaned in close to her ear.

"He wants to marry you, Lena!" He whispered.

She stood still for a moment, shocked. Douglas Jenkins? She had hardly spoken two words to the boy. He was from a slightly provincial family that lived closer to the tiny town of Forsan, Texas. It was rumored that Douglas' great grandparents had immigrated here from Aryan Europe, but no one was too sure. His father owned the town general store and made a steady income, and prided himself on his children. They were more uppity than the Dorlians, and Douglas Jenkins could have his fair share of any girl he wanted with the right amount of money. He traveled often and didn't like spending too much time in Forsan.

"Yous' crazier than a bullfrog, Billy. I'm sure he didn't say my name. Who are you tryin' to fool?"

"I'm serious as all get out!"

"Don't make no sense." She mumbled, walking shakily to her bed and slumping down on it with her back to the headboard. "I got no money. I ain't even pretty. I don't want to get married!"

"That'll change with time."

She looked up at the sound of her father's voice as he stood in the doorway. Billy had obviously fled the scene. She stiffened as he made his way over to her, taking off his brown hat. His cowboy boots made heavy clumping sounds against the floor. Her body subconsciously leaned away from him, a habit she had developed from being raised with a father as the dominating figure in her family. There was no rebelling against Charles Dorlian. Even so, he was a kind father who held a special place in his heart for his tom-boy daughter. His weight dipped the mattress and caused her to teeter awkwardly while trying to stay away from him.

"Relena. Look at me."

She bit her bottom lip and sighed, shifting her eyes to her father's. He looked embarrassed. That was a first.

"Douglas Jenkins is a suitable man for you. You would be well-provided for. And…you wouldn't be far from your mother and I. If you, Lord willing, ever had children…that would mean more to you than you think it would."

"I've never said more than a few words to Douglas Jenkins, Pa! And he said those when he was angry with me for huntin' with Billy on his land!" She huffed and crossed her arms. "He gives me the willies. I don't like the way he looks at me."

"He looks at you like that because he thinks you're pretty, Relena. If you stopped wearin' all your brother's hand-me-down long johns and put on a dress, for Pete's sake, you would have a lot more looks like that."

"I don't care 'bout no smitten looks, no way. I don't want to get married and settle down. I want to explore!"

She stopped when her father's expression suddenly turned stern. He stood up off the bed and glared down at her.

"It ain't just about what you _want_, Relena. The harvest has been lax this year. We're afeared' that we won't have enough for next season. Your brother is comin' to the age where he can handle his share, but you're a woman and your place ain't where a man's should be. We can't keep supportin' you on nothin'."

She gripped the bed sheets tighter, tears burning at the back of her eyes. She would not cry. Her father sighed, leaned over, and kissed her on the top of her head.

"I'm your father, and I love you. I won't force you to do anything you don't want to do. Just think about it, darlin'." He said, putting his hat back on. He walked softly out the door and closed it behind him.

"Well that don't leave me no choice, now does it?" She said, smashing her face into her pillow.

--

Later that day, she ran all the way to Bernice's tiny cabin located in the woods west of town. She had made it a habit of coming here ever since her mother told her that Bernice needed looking after, being seven months pregnant and living alone out in the woods. The weeds had overgrown around the edges of the house, and brown cabbage leaves were folded over all over her tiny garden. Relena didn't really care for Bernice, but she didn't want her to be miserable. She knocked on the door harshly.

"Bernice!"

She heard a groan and then heavy shuffling for a few minutes. Finally, Bernice jerked open the door and glared at her. Her heavy red curls were framing her face and falling in rivulets down her shoulders to come to an end at her protruded belly. She wouldn't have looked so pregnant if she hadn't been so skinny to begin with, but now she was all baby. Her feet were swollen, as well as her hands and face. She was still a pretty woman, in her thirties and widowed. Her husband had been drug home by his horse two days after he'd left hunting. That was five years ago.

"Do you realize how long it takes to get to sleep when yer' backs achin' all hours of the day and a babies tryin' ta' kick yer' insides out, youngon'? I was almost there! What could ya' possibly want again? Ya' done seen me _once_ today."

"I need to talk to somebody." She growled, shoving her way into the door. Bernice watched her, surprised, and closed the door softly behind her as Relena slumped down into a rocking chair. It wasn't like Relena to be so short with people, even on a bad day. She pulled a stool up to her and sat down across from her. When Relena didn't look at her, she sighed.

"Well?"

"Pa wants me to get married."

Bernice laughed and tossed her hair over her shoulder. The cabin smelled like corn husks and boiled rabbit. Relena wrinkled her nose.

"That's old news, Relena. You came all the way out here to tell me something your daddy's been wantin' for a long time."

"I have an offer."

"Really!" Bernice said, her pitch rising. She clasped her hands together. "Oh, finally! The whole town's been gettin' worried if you was ever gon' find somebody, Lena…no offense. You're just not really…motherly material, if ya' know what I mean." She bit her lip. "Who's the lucky man?"

"He hasn't asked _me_ yet." She growled, getting up and pacing around the living room. Bernice followed her with her eyes before shaking her head.

"Stop doin' that! Yer' makin' me dizzy. Sat' down!"

"I don't even like him. I never even spoke to him! How can you know if you want to marry somebody if ya' never even spoke to 'em?"

"Would you just tell me who it is already!"

Relena hung her head. "Douglas Jenkins."

When she didn't get an immediate response, she lifted her head. Bernice was sitting straight as a board on her stool, a shocked expression on her face. Her hand was clenched in her blue apron and the color had drained from her skin. After a moment, she seemed to recover herself. She glanced at Relena. The look in her eyes was calculating. She narrowed them, for whatever reason, and gave Relena a once-over before sighing. She leaned forward and grabbed Relena's hand.

"Don't marry that man, Relena. He's bad news."

"What do you mean?"

She let go of Relena's hand and got up. She grabbed a broom leaning against the cabin wall and began sweeping furiously, around and around in circles.

"What do you _mean_, Bernice?"

"He's just bad news!" She yelled, spinning around and facing her. "Just trust me. Ya' don't wanna' be gettin' involved with the likes of him."

"If ya' don't give me a reason not to marry him, then I can't give one to Pa."

"I can't. Just go!" She yelled, swapping at her with the straw end of the broom. Relena jumped up and made her way to the door.

"Landsakes, you're ornerier 'an a bobcat! I can't wait 'til you have this baby so's yer' hormones kin' get back to normal!" She said, slamming the door behind her.

She huffed and stomped on the way back to the Dorlian house, muttering under her breath about crazy pregnant women. The sun had begun to set and the fields of wheat shined as they wavered back and forth in the breeze, the warm orange and red colors of the sunset blending behind the brown of the wheat. It calmed her and she slowed her stomping to a walk, smelling the air and closing her eyes. By the time she had reached her home, she had almost forgotten.

--

In a town not far from Forson, a young man was watching the same sunset through slit eyes. As the sun lowered, so was a black coffin lowered into the dusty earth by two men. He gripped his black hat tightly in his hands as anger and bitterness throbbed deep within his chest and threatened to spill all over the place. He would not lose it here. He would honor his wife and allow her a peaceful burial, for she wasn't offered a peaceful death. He closed his eyes only for a moment to calm himself, but that too quickly turned out to be a mistake. The darkness gave way to memories.

_Three days earlier…_

_He rubbed his dirty hands against his overalls and spit against the dirt. It was very hot out today, and he had spent most of the day in the fields. It wasn't often that Heero Yuy spent a lot of time in what little soil he and his wife shared. They were usually working together in the schoolhouse. They were both teachers. He taught arithmetic…she taught writing. They both loved children, and were madly in love with each other. They had grown up as neighbors and been best friends for as far back as he could remember. He grinned as he continued walking back to the farmhouse._

_His parents had been taken by smallpox. He had been adopted when he was an infant and taken in by the Yuy's, a Japanese family that were usually excluded from the general populace of Maverick, Texas, even though the Yuy's had immigrated here almost five generations earlier. They were more western than most of the westerners out here and had as bad of an accent as anybody. Still, they were excluded, and so was Heero. Until he met Mae. She had taken an instant liking to him when they were five years old. They had been inseparable since. He had been completely clueless as to her feelings for him until one day, while they were sitting on a log cutting sugarcane, she had said "When we get married, how many kids do you want to have?" Since then, everything had happened so quickly. He realized he was in love with his best friend and didn't want anyone else._

_He paused in his walk as the house came into focus over the horizon. The door was left open, which Mae never did because she hated flies getting in the house. He called out her name, but got no response. He quickened his pace, only slightly worried. She was probably in the bath bucket._

_The scent of blood sent his mind spinning as he neared the house. He began running, panicked. When he reached the door he slammed it open._

"_Mae!"_

_There were no candles lit. It was so dark in their tiny home. Their things were spread out all over the place – dishes were smashed, tools were spread out everywhere.. Whatever meal she had been preparing was covering the walls and smashed into the wooden floors. It looked like a band of Indians had tiraded their way in. Everything he saw – but her. He went to his bedroom and pulled out his rifle from its hidden location underneath one of the floorboards, his body tense. His hands were shaking as he loaded the gun. He did a quick run-through of the house, not expecting to find her there._

_When he was satisfied that she was definitely not in the house, he walked outside. He paced around the sides of the house, not finding anything. When he finally reached the southern portion of the back wall, an open window caught his attention. There was a small trail of blood that ran the length of the window and onto the soil. His eyes widened in fear – not for his life, but for his wife. He continued to call out her name as he began following the trail that led back into the forest. His hands shook on his rifle as he ran along the trail, frantic._

_It seemed like the trail of blood lasted forever. He had gotten so far deep into the forest he wasn't sure if he'd find his way back…but he had to find Mae. He couldn't think of anything but her beautiful face._

_And then he heard a sound._

_It was a gasp – like someone was struggling to breathe. The trail came to an end where brush and leaves had been piled together in one spot. He reached down cautiously and began to pull back the foliage, and underneath it all – her brown hair matted and bloodied against her face – was Mae._

_She was naked and covered with blood and bruises. There was a knife sticking out just below her collarbone. Her arm had been broken and hung limply at her side. The lower half of her body looked worse…there was blood covering her stomach and pelvic area. Someone had violated the person he had become one with. Murder erupted, his mind went blank. All he saw was red._

"_Heero?"_

_Her weak gasp brought him back to reality. She was touching his hand softly. Her skin was so cold. He leaned down next to her face and kissed her hair tenderly, holding her hand._

_She coughed up a little bit of blood, her face grimacing in pain. All he could do was hold her. He felt so helpless._

"_Treize…"_

_The name was stored in his memory for later. He nodded, and her eyes glazed over. He wouldn't think on whom it was he was going to kill right now. Now, he would have what little time he had left with her._

"_I love you, honey." He said, rubbing her hair. She smiled up at him. "I've always loved you."_

"_I love you, too, baby." She whispered as tears made their way slowly down her face._

He opened his eyes quickly and gazed down the hole that had been cut into the earth for his wife. There was nothing left here.

There was nothing left of Heero Yuy.

He would find Treize – the mysterious man who had shown up in town not two weeks earlier on business – and he would make him pay for what had happened. He would show him what it felt like to be broken and completely alone.

He would show him what hell-on-earth _really_ felt like.


	2. I Think You've Got A Problem

Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing.

**Let Go Your Heart**

Chapter Two

By: Nena

* * *

"_These things I have spoken unto you, that in me ye might have peace. In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world."_

- _Jesus_, John 16:33

* * *

Relena hummed softly to herself as her fingers glazed over the wheat tips in the fields. The sun was shining brightly overhead – a thin sheen of sweat lined her brow as her wild hair blew softly in the breeze. Her overalls hung gaudy on her small frame. She pushed her bare feet into the soft earth, smiling to herself.

Earlier that morning she had told her father of her acceptance to Douglas' proposal. Her parents had been ecstatic, her mother immediately going to work on her wedding dress. That in and of itself was enough to calm her nerves, knowing that she was lifting a huge burden from her parents and making them happy. She didn't want to end up an old maid because she had poor parents and no money. Or because she didn't dress like a girl.

She looked down at her clothes and grimaced.

That was the most confusing thing about the whole ordeal. Douglas was known to be charming and to flirt audaciously with the ladies around town. He was incredibly handsome to boot, and rich. It didn't make sense that he would want to marry an inexperienced, tom-boy girl with no money. And she knew it couldn't be because he liked her "personality". He had hardly spoken to her.

So it was a surprise when she heard trotting behind her and turned swiftly to see Douglas riding up in her father's wheat field. The horse was white and thoroughly cleaned. Douglas' chin-length blonde hair blew swiftly behind him, the white button-down shirt he was wearing sticking to his masculine frame and giving her an outline of his muscled torso. The top two buttons had come undone to reveal his chest, light hair sticking slightly out of the top. He smiled at her and she stiffened in surprise as he rode up to her and then hopped off of his horse, taking a deep breath.

"Good morning, Miss Dorlian." He breathed out, his ice blue eyes startling her. She opened her mouth, closed it, and then opened it again. He probably thought she was mute.

"Mornin', Mr. Jenkins." She smiled back at him. His gaze over her made her uncomfortable, and she couldn't understand why. She tried to brush off the feeling.

"Your father sent for me and told me your decision. He said you were out here in the fields. I wanted to…talk." He looked around disdainfully. "What are you doing out here, anyway?"

It was the first time she had noticed his accent. Or, more precisely, his lack of an accent. He spoke clearly. Another mystery surrounding The Jenkins Family.

"I like walkin'." She said matter-of-factly, staring him in the eye. He grinned an odd grin at the words. "And I check up on Bernice 'round this time of day, usually."

At the mention of her name his grin faltered, and something flashed across his eyes. It was quickly replaced, however, and his smile righted itself back up.

"I see. Well, I won't interrupt your promenade any longer. I just wanted to speak to you…and make sure this was really what you wanted." A thoughtful look crossed his face as he stared deeply into her eyes, and then looked down. "I wouldn't want you to feel like you _had_ to do anything."

She blushed slightly, but lifted her chin like the adult she was trying to be. "It's what I want." She declared, feeling like a child. And that, she discovered, was the reason behind the uncomfortable feeling she had when he looked at her. He looked at her as if she were a child.

And right now, he was smiling at her as if she had been a good little girl. She inwardly seethed.

"Very good." He smiled, flashing his teeth at her. He hopped back onto his horse and nodded at her. "Until next time, Relena." He said, and galloped off. She watched him warily as he followed the trail back into town until she could no longer make out his horse.

She started back toward the forests, but her father called out her name from the barn. She sighed and headed back that way. When she reached the barn he inclined for her help in a few chores around the farm. By the time she had finished milking the cows, feeding the pigs, and cleaning out the slop buckets, the sun had already begun to set behind the fields. It was a little late to go see Bernice now, but she found herself caring more lately about Bernice's well being.

She made her way as quickly as possible back to Bernice's tiny cabin, hoping to make it home before dark. She wasn't stupid. Nobody wanted to be out alone in the dark in these woods. When she finally reached the cabin, she was surprised to see Douglas' horse tied to a ramp outside the front door. Curious, she tiptoed slightly up to the door and pressed her ear to it. She crouched down on a small fishing bucket.

"…not too late." She heard Douglas' say, his polished voice ringing clearly in the room.

"This is my choice, Douglas. You ain't gotta' live with it. I can take care of myself."

"Don't be ridiculous…alright, calm down. Don't start _crying_, for goodness' sake. Drink some of this. It'll make you feel better."

Relena heard the clink of glass against a cup, and then a pause in the conversation. She wrinkled her brow in agitation.

"Don't you miss _us_?" He said suddenly, his voice soft. "Don't you miss the way I make you feel?" There was quiet for a few moments. Relena sat crouched beside the door, not daring to breathe.

"Don't…" Bernice finally gasped, her voice cracking sadly. She sniffled.

"This is ridiculous!" He growled. His voice was angry now, and grew louder. Footsteps shuffled around the room as if he were pacing. "I never asked for any of this. I don't understand why you can't just get rid of it and let us continue loving each other the way we were before."

"Do you realize what you're saying?" She said, her voice rising. "Why does it matter to you, anyway? I don't expect anything from you. And you seem to be movin' on rather nicely."

"Jealousy is very unbecoming of you, my dear." Bernice snorted rather loudly at this remark, and she heard Douglas snivel. "It matters to me because, if this ever came out, I would be ruined! My family name would be ruined! And, if I'm not mistaken, darling, you have been contemplating coming clean to the public. I can't let you do that."

"And what are you gonna' do, huh? I know you, Douglas. You're all talk. You – "

Relena's eyes widened, and then, by some bizarre, cruel twist of fate, the bucket she had been sitting on suddenly slipped out from beneath her. She watched in horror as the bucket was sent spiraling across the porch and she landed with a loud 'thump' on the ground. Mortified, she quickly scrambled to her feet as she heard heavy footsteps making their way to the door. She fled off the porch as quickly as she could, thankful for once for the darkness outside, praying to Jesus that it would cover her from their view.

--

Relena woke the next morning as dawn hedged its way over the horizon. She hadn't been able to sleep at all the night before, worried thoughts succumbing her mind to panic throughout the night. Was Bernice alright? Would they come looking for her? Amazingly enough, she had made it back home without any pursuit whatsoever. They might have thought it was a hen or something that had gotten loose on the front porch. She made sure to say an extra "Thank You" in her diary to God before she went to bed.

Besides that worry, however, was the odd conversation that the two were having. Was Douglas the father? It sounded that way, and there was no way around it, no matter how much she wanted to believe otherwise. And what he had said about getting rid of the baby caused a shiver to run down her spine. She had heard of a doctor who lived on the edge of town who had begun practicing that study on willing women. Some called him a witch doctor, others just said he was knowledge-hungry. It didn't matter to her either way. She was just thankful that Bernice had decided to keep the baby.

Tired of struggling with herself, she finally hopped out of bed and threw on yesterday's overalls and her daddy's oversized brown shirt. She tip-toed quietly throughout the house and creaked open the door to her parents' room as they slept quietly next to the bed. The sound didn't wake them.

She spotted her daddy's rifle leaning against the wall. Cautiously, she made her way over to it and took it up in her arms. Her weight against the floor caused it to groan in protest. Her daddy snorted, rubbed his nose, and swiftly regained his snoring. She stood stock-still, staring at him wide-eyed, until she was sure he was back asleep.

The next thing she knew, she was outside the house, riding her daddy's horse, and making her way to the woods.

--

The first thing she noticed as she reached Bernice's cabin was the odd smell emanating from it. She couldn't place her finger on what it was – it wasn't the usual vegetable or meat smell she had gotten used to around here. It smelled more like some kind of wax, like the candles in the general store. She hid behind a tree and gazed warily at the cabin. It was still dark out, and there were strange noises out in the woods. She heard a coyote howl a few miles a way and stiffened, her finger tightening on the trigger of her rifle.

"Stop bein' such a yellow-belly." She told herself, a scowl coming across her face. "It's just dark. Nothin' there but woods and trees."

She crouched still for a moment before nodding to herself and standing up slowly. She walked up to Bernice's door and opened it, peeking her head inside. Bernice was lying in the rocking chair – which was odd, her not being in her room – but she seemed to be sleeping peacefully. There were no signs that she had been hurt in any way. She swiftly closed the door and walked away from the cabin, shaking her head at herself.

"Douglas wouldn't dare hurt Bernice, stupid." She mumbled to herself. As she heard the words, however, a faint glow coming from the back of the cabin caught her attention. She walked quietly around the side of the house and was surprised to see a row of kerosene lamps lining the back porch, all lit. She walked up to them cautiously. So _that_ had been the odd smell. Why would Bernice have all of these lamps lit at one time, and while she was asleep?

Three things happened at once. First, she heard a loud noise coming from the trail leading away from Bernice's cabin – it sounded like a gunshot. Second, she spun around to face the sound, simultaneously knocking over two of the kerosene lamps. And third, she watched, horrified, as the fire from the lamp broke out on the porch and followed a small trail of gunpowder leading up to the doorway. Before she had time to think, there was an explosion so loud it left her ears ringing. Heat slammed into her right side and she was ejected away from the porch, landing a few yards away from the cabin. Her right side took the impact of the dirt and she blacked out for a moment, dazed. The ringing in her ears wouldn't go away, and her skin felt like it was on fire. She opened her eyes slowly, her vision blurry, but not blurry enough to block out the picture in front of her. She shook her head.

The cabin was engulfed with flames. Perhaps she had blacked out for longer than she had speculated – it didn't make sense that the cabin could have caught on fire that quickly from two kerosene lamps. But then she looked and saw that the entire row of kerosene lamps were no longer standing upright on the porch – they had all knocked over from the force of the blast. It couldn't be too late. She righted herself up and grabbed her head dizzily, feeling sick for a moment, before beginning to make her way back to the cabin. There was still a chance that she could save Bernice.

No sooner had the thought crossed her mind that another explosion sent her reeling back a few more yards. She had the mental capacity to brace herself for the impact and landed in a tumble through the forest brush, splinters digging into her skin at every exposed flesh point on her body. She grinded her teeth as she tumbled for what felt like forever in her mind, but she knew only last a few moments. When she had stopped, she had only a moment to realize that she was still being pelted by wood before a piece of glass sliced through her hand. She cried out in pain as she grabbed the closest thing she could find – a wooden plank on the ground – and attempted to shield herself from the pieces of cabin that were flying in her direction. She huddled in that position for what seemed like forever before she chanced a glance over the top of the plank.

She gasped in surprise. The cabin was no longer existent – everything was spread out across the ground. The explosion had been big enough to consume most of the cabin itself, and to penetrate and dissolve almost everything inside. Black clouds of smoke were rising up from the debris. There was no way Bernice could have survived.

Her eyes blurred as tears filled them and ran over her dirt-covered cheeks, her hair a wild, tangled mess around her shoulders. She started coughing as a breeze blew the black cloud in her direction, and she hurried her way out of the foliage, her feet numb to the twigs and stickers in the ground. Her mind was spinning as she looked around the debris for any sign of a body, her ears ringing loudly. She stumbled around frantically, knocking over pieces of wood, afraid and needing to find some form of life.

She heard a muffled shout and spun around. Douglas was riding up on his horse, his face bleak and menacing in the darkness. He stared pointedly and started talking to her, but she couldn't understand what he was saying. She shook her head and tried to clear the ringing in her ears.

"…have you done?"

She looked up at him, terrified. He strained as he leaned down to her and attempted to grab her wrist.

"What have you _done_, Relena?"

Clarity suddenly entered her mind. She attempted to jerk her wrist out of his hand, but he held on to her tightly.

"It was an accident!" She pleaded, her eyes once again filling with tears. He looked at her oddly.

"I think you should come with - "

Another explosion, this time small, came from the distance. It was small, but it was enough to knock them both apart and send them spiraling in opposite directions. When she landed and came to herself, she quickly jumped up and ran to the other side of the cabin.

"God, please let my horse be there." She whispered over and over again to herself. To her relief, the horse was a ways away from the cabin remains, standing still. She ran to him as fast as her legs would carry her and jumped on, kicking him as hard as she could and holding on for dear life as he galloped away from the cabin.

Meanwhile, across the field, Douglas came to and sat up shakily. He rubbed his hand across his head and it came back smeared with blood. He cursed under his breath, and then, realizing something, he looked up just in time to see Relena disappear over the horizon. He cursed even louder.

He turned around at the sound of hoof beats and looked up to see another rider make their way up to him. His face was hidden in the darkness, his hair covered by a brown wide-rimmed hat.

"I think you've got a problem." The figure said grimly.

"Shut up, John, I know." Douglas said, scowling. He stared down at the dirt for a moment before looking back up. "It'll change my plans, but I don't think she can do much damage. She's just a little girl…and she won't be coming back here. Not if she knows what's good for her."

--

Relena quickly grabbed her leather satchel and began stuffing the absolute necessities into it, her mind racing. She couldn't stay her. Douglas had seen everything – she was a murdered. A murderer!

She bit her lip as a new wave of sadness washed over her. She couldn't do this here – she had to get away. Douglas was probably on his way to her home at this very moment. She went to the kitchen and stuffed a few preserves in her satchel, as well as the other things she would be requiring while she was…she grimaced…a _fugitive_.

She spun around as she felt a hand on her shoulder. Billy was standing right behind her, a concerned look on his face as he held onto her shoulders.

"Where are you going?"

"Oh, Billy!" She cried, wrapping her arms around his neck and crushing her face into his chest. He ran his hand across her back comfortingly.

"What's wrong? What happened, 'Lena?"

"I…" She choked up. She couldn't tell him, she had to get away from here. She slithered out of his embrace.

"There was an accident…" She said, looking him in the eyes. He looked at her apprehensively, his brow wrinkled in concern. She almost lost it.

"I have to go!" She said, continuing her rampart search around their house. Billy followed her as she walked around as quietly as she could, trying not to awake their parents.

"Listen, Relena, whatever it is…I'm sure…there's a reason. If it was an accident then I'm sure they'll understand…"

"Bernice is dead." She said suddenly, stopping and looking him in the face. He stiffened.

"What?"

"I…I have to go, Billy. I have to get outta' here. I can't explain no more."

She was thankful when the shock finally wore off a few minutes later and he began helping her pack some things.

"I don't care what happened, Relena." He said later. "I know you would never hurt anybody on purpose. But if you have to go…you can't go lookin' like that."

She walked over to a mirror in the kitchen and glanced at herself. He was right. No matter how much she dressed in overalls, she still looked like a girl. She couldn't go out by herself. There was no telling what men would try to do to a woman traveling alone.

She turned to look at him but was halted as he grabbed her hair up in one hand and swiftly sliced a pair of kitchen shears through it at the base of her head. She watched in horror as her golden locks fell limp in a fistful of his hand, a few strands falling to the floor. He looked up at her apologetically before walking to the washroom. She turned around and looked at herself in the mirror, shocked. She touched the open skin of her neck and shoulders slowly, tears running down her face.

Relena shook her head once again. She had to do this. She had to.

Douglas came back in with a few strips of cloth in his hand. He held them out to her pointedly, blushing.

"What is this for?" She said, ignorant of his meaning.

He sighed and pointed at his own chest. She turned crimson immediately, before rushing to the bathroom. She closed the door behind her and unclipped the top of her overalls and pulling her shirt off. Looking at herself in the mirror, she began wrapping the cloth tightly around her chest. When she was satisfied that she couldn't _possibly_ get any flatter, she redressed and walked back into the house.

She was met with Billy, his hands covered in dirt, rubbing the soil into her face. She sputtered and slapped his hands away as her skin was immediately blackened. He clicked his tongue at her as she glared at him, her hands on her hips.

"Do you want to look like a boy or not?" He said, and then proceeded to rub the dirt into her face again.

Satisfied, he glanced her over and nodded in approval. She turned and looked at herself in the mirror, surprised out how much she looked like a boy. The sound of movement in the other room sent them both scurrying out the door – if there was anything left to bring, it was too late now. Billy led her to the stables and brought his own horse, handing Relena the reins.

"Billy…" She said, tears once again threatening to spill over her eyes. This was Sanc, Billy's only horse. Relena hadn't yet saved up enough money to buy one for herself.

"Hush, now. I don't wanna' hear it. I just want you to be safe, now, ya' hear? I'll explain everything to Ma and Pa. You just stay low for a while. I'll see ya' soon…when this blows over. Where will you be headin'?"

"I..I don't know, yet." She stuttered. She was frightened. This was really happening. Billy pulled her into a hug, squeezing her hard the only way he knew how. She held on to him for dear life. "I'll write to you when I know."

The sound of their father calling out Relena's name sent them scampering behind the stable. Billy helped Relena up onto Sanc as she stared sadly down at him.

"I love ya', sis. Please be careful."

"I love you, too." She managed to choke out. And then she was gone.


	3. Uvalde

Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing.

**Let Go Your Heart**

Chapter Three

By: Nena

* * *

"_And ye now therefore have sorrow: but I will see you again, and your heart shall rejoice, and your joy no man taketh from you."_

– _Jesus_, John 16:22

* * *

It wasn't the first time he had been in a situation like this.

The dusty earth billowed behind his horse's hooves as he galloped toward the approaching station. His brown, unkempt hair blustered in the wind, unnoticed, uncontrolled. Prussian blue eyes zoomed in on a target – the saloon, some few miles ahead, loud and bright in the night dusk rising from the ground. The red bandana he wore over his mouth did little to control the dirt from whipping into his eyes and down into his mouth, but he didn't care. He didn't care that the upper-half of his face was caked in grime. He didn't care about anything.

It had been three months.

Three months, and all he could think about was her.

He no longer believed what they said – that time healed everything. Nothing was healed. Nothing was easier. It was just as impossible to let go of as it had ever been. He would not confront the darkness in himself until he was sure that the man who had done this was six feet under the ground. It wasn't an option – he was going to kill him, one way or the other.

He gritted his teeth, his eyes narrowing in anticipation of the awaiting town. Absolutely no one outside of Maverick, Texas had ever heard of a man named Treize Khushrenada. It didn't help that Heero himself had never actually gotten to see Treize's face – he had only heard rumors of the European. Others had attempted a detailed drawing of the man, and a folded picture of him lye in his sack hanging off the side of his horse. Not that he needed to look at it again – he had memorized the drawing, stared at it a hundred times, and came close to ripping it to pieces a few thousand. All he had to go on were more and more rumors of a man who looked the same, all under a different alias.

Treize was clever. That much he knew was true. _If_ Treize was even the man's real name. So far he had gone under the name Devin Stockling, as well as Travis DeWitt. He was currently looking for one Marsdon Baker, who was said to have passed through the little town of Uvalde, Texas some two weeks ago on business.

He had searched for the scoundrel for weeks. Every end turned up with nothing, every clue led to another useless clue. He had left his teaching position without hesitation – it reminded him too much of her. His father had raised him roughly, anyway, and he knew how to survive and fight on his own. Before he had decided to marry Mae he had contemplated working as a Sheriff. But that idea, like many others, had changed when she told him it was out of the question. _"You're not going to make me a widow by the age of 25!"_ She had said. He winced.

After roughly two months of doing nothing but living off of what he killed and sleeping on the ground, riding his horse from dawn until dusk, he had forgotten what comfort felt like. He had forgotten what it felt like to feel anything but the suffocating bitterness rising up in his throat. He had forsaken his own sense of right and wrong to the anger burning inside of him, demanding that justice be served.

His dark thoughts were broken as he reached the saloon. Someone barreled drunkenly out the swinging doors – the smell of whiskey and cigars assaulted his nostrils. There was someone banging away on a piano.

He tied up his horse and walked stiffly to the entrance, the sounds of laughter drifting outside.

--

_**Dear God,**_

_**Im not really sure whut yer doin. Im startin ta think that yer not listenin to anything Im prayin for. I thought that by now you would have made things better…but nothing seems to have changed. If you could send me a sign. Let me know that yer still there.**_

_**Relena**_

She signed her name at the bottom of the page and then clicked her tongue as a tear slipped from her lashes and onto the parchment. Writing had been her only outlet in the three months she had been away from home. Her disguise had seemed to work – a little _too_ well, she thought with a grudge – and it didn't look like anyone had expected anything.

Billy had been absolutely livid when she wrote him two weeks after she left home and told him that she wasn't coming back. He had expected her to be gone for a week at the longest. _"If I had known you'd be leaving permanently, I would have gone with you. You're not safe out there."_He had written. She could tell that he was more upset than he let on, but there was nothing she could do. After a letter telling her that he was coming to find her, she had high-tailed it as quickly as she could and refused to write him back so that he wouldn't know her new location. Nothing had changed with the authorities, anyway.

Her parents had told her they'd come find her – that they could all start a new life somewhere else. She wanted it more than anything, but she knew that it would be a life constantly on the run – and then they'd be arrested for helping her if they were ever caught. She couldn't have them suffer for her mistake.

She jumped at every noise in the night. She avoided law enforcement at every corner – which was why she worked in a saloon. If the Sheriff or anyone came in here, she was the last person they'd look at as a criminal. She was a short, skinny little boy who worked at the poker tables around a bunch of beefy guys, some outlaws, others bounty hunters – a number of which the law were looking out for. Not her.

She checked her pocket-watch and groaned. She was late again. Grabbing her hat and stuffing it over her head, she opened the door and walked out into the hallway. Out of the corner of her eye she saw one of the men walk into the saloon prostitute's room while the woman giggled incessantly. She was thankful she hadn't been subjected to _that_ sort of a living.

Relena was also thankful that she had become very skilled in cards, particularly poker. Billy had taught her. The last town she had stopped in before Sanc had lost a horseshoe had been Uvalde. Seeing as she and the horse were half-starving to death and she couldn't afford to buy a new horseshoe, she figured Uvalde had been as good a place as any to try her last few coins on a hand at poker. Within the hour she had nearly quadrupled her bet, and the owner – Luke – had been thoroughly impressed. He had been short on help and offered her the position of a dealer on the spot.

And that was how she had managed to secure lodging in the upstairs room of the saloon, as well as enough money to provide food for herself and Sanc. It was a measly salary, but it was enough to get by on. She just didn't know how long she could keep going like this before somebody figured everything out. Billy had written that Douglas hadn't outright told the Sheriff that Relena had done the act because he hadn't been there to witness the act itself, but he had told them that she had been there when he saw the fire from a distance and rode up to Bernice's cabin.

She scrunched her nose at the smell of tobacco as she walked down the stairs – it had saturated all of her clothes and hair from the amount of time she spent down here. Luke grinned at her from the bar and she smiled back, the atmosphere in the room light with drunkenness. The other dealer, Timothy, glanced up at her from his position at the table where a group of about five men were receiving their hands, and nodded. He got up and she took his place – the men barely noticing as they stared down at their cards, each trying to keep their faces straight.

That was when she saw him.

He was wearing all black. He walked into the saloon quietly – others watched him, unrecognizable as he was. She couldn't quite make out his facial features because he had a red bandana over his mouth and his black Stetson hat on. Brown, disheveled hair stuck out a little at the bottom. What skin there was was covered in black dirt. He made his way slowly over to the bar and slumped down onto one of the stools, muttering something to Luke. His back was to her as he took his hat off and began to untie the bandana.

"What are you waitin' on?"

She was knocked out of her reverie by a gruff voice. All five of the players were looking at her expectantly. She mumbled a gruff apology in as low of a voice as she could muster and commenced the game.

It was second-nature to her now. She could effectively play the game, detached from it if need be, without making a mistake. One of the players was a little shifty and easily gave his hand away with the looks and fidgeting he was doing throughout the game. Three of them were regulars, and one was a rough-looking man who kept his face blank the entire time. By the time they were an hour into the game, the fidgety one was sweating buckets as more and more of his money was placed in the center of the table, as well as the reins to his horse.

She glanced once more at the stranger at the bar. He hadn't spoken to anyone since he had gotten here – he had hardly moved except to sip on whatever it was he was drinking, his head down as if he were staring down into his glass. Everyone else seemed to have forgotten about him. Diane – the prostitute from the room across from Relena's - walked quickly down the stairs, now in a different outfit. The man she had been with before had left a few minutes earlier, his pocket a little less full. When she was halfway down the stairs she spotted the stranger and grinned, having a better look at him than Relena did. He must have been handsome from the way her eyes lit up.

She made her way over to him slowly, moving her hips in a way that fully advantaged her figure as she walked. He did not glance up from his glass as she leaned up against the bar next to him, the strap on her red dress slipping off of her shoulder. Her cleavage nearly reached her neckline from the tight fit of the corset, her black hair piled high on top of her head with a few curly strands framing her face. She trailed her fingers over his shoulders as she cocked her head and said something flirtatiously to him. He mumbled something back to her, to which an annoyed look came across her face, before she smiled and attempted once again to catch his attention in a more direct manner. She pushed her chest to him as she whispered something seductively into his ear. The man stiffened, and then grabbed her by both shoulders and shoved her in the other direction, growling something at her. She didn't have a chance to hear what he was saying because the man who had been sweating buckets at her table was suddenly hysterical.

"W-what is this?" He sputtered, holding up an ace. Relena looked across the table to see that everyone had shown their hands, and she herself held four-of-a-kind – all aces and a queen. There was an extra ace in the deck.

"Yer' _cheatin'_! I'm takin' my money back!"

"Mister, if you could just let me check with my manager - "

The poker table was suddenly overturned as the man stood up in anger, cards and chips flying all over the place. She barely had time to react as the man started screaming at her, the others yelling and cursing their injustices.

"No! I want _everything_ back! Now!"

She leaned down to begin picking up the chips before she felt the end of a pistol jabbing her in the back of the head.

"_Get_ yer' hands off my money, son."

The music in the saloon suddenly stopped. Diane yelped from across the room as everyone turned their attention to the man holding the gun. His hands were trembling shakily on the trigger, his eyes wild. Relena had seen his type before – the ones who bet more than they could afford to lose. She had just never had one of them to go this far.

She heard a shot and cringed backward before realizing that it hadn't been from the gun pointed at her head. She turned around to see the man fall down to the ground, holding his bloodied hand and howling in pain. She jerked her head up to see who had just saved her life before she was met with startling blue eyes piercing into her from across the room. She subconsciously shuttered from the detached, heartless way the stranger was looking at her. His gun was still pointed at the man. She stared at him, wide-eyed, before he holstered his weapon and walked stiffly over to the hysterical man on the floor. His spurs shook as he stomped over to him and grabbed the man's bloodied hand, resulting in cries of rage, before jerking back the man's sleeve. A Wizard card holdout* was attached by a thin band to the man's arm.

Luke snapped his fingers and immediately two other men grabbed the man and dragged him out of the saloon to be dealt with. Luke glanced at the stranger and walked over to him, reaching out his hand. The stranger shook his hand stiffly, absolutely no expression on his face. It was disconcerting.

"Thank ya' for yer' help, Mister uh…"

"Heero Yuy."

"Mr. Yuy. Is there any way I kin' repay ya'?"

"I'm looking for a man named Marsdon Baker. Has anyone here heard of him?"

He glanced around the room coldly. When no one volunteered any information he grabbed hold of the counter, his fingertips turning white.

"Devin Stockling. Travis DeWitt. Treize Khushrenada. Do any of those names sound familiar?"

Nobody made a sound. Heero cursed loudly and the corner of the counter suddenly broke off in his hand, earning a reprimand from Luke, which Heero completely ignored. He reached into his sack and whipped out a picture of a face that seemed oddly familiar to Relena.

"Has anyone seen this man?" He seethed. Her eyes narrowed on the drawing, but the doors of the saloon swinging open turned her attention away from the picture. She gasped as her brother walked into the saloon. She immediately dropped to her knees and attempted to hide behind the skirts of the women who had gathered around her. She made her way slowly to the back entrance, but paused as she heard a commotion.

"That's Mr. Lockland!"

Heero jerked his head toward the voice of William Joots, the town banker. William scurried over toward the picture and put on his glasses as he gazed down at it. "Yes. I'm positive. That is Mr. Frederick Lockland, he does business with my bank. He was here one week ago. Has he done something wrong?"

She watched as Heero closed his eyes and sighed, putting the picture back into his sack. "Yes. Can you tell me where he was headed?"

"I believe he mentioned that he had business in Waco. Should…should we be concerned?"

She didn't have time to listen to the rest of the conversation because her brother had begun pacing around the saloon, searching for her. She quickly went out the back door and climbed the outer railing that led up to the top floor of the saloon. She walked into her bedroom and immediately began packing her sparse belongings, glad she had decided to go ahead and get a new horseshoe put on Sanc the day before. Still, it had cost her every last penny of the money she had, and it was too late to make more. A plan had begun to form in her head while she was packing. When she was finished she walked back out through the back exit and spotted Heero Yuy saddling his horse, his black cowboy hat once again atop his head. She ran up to him and he turned to glance at her coldly. She was immediately taken aback by his handsome features, even though his face was devoid of emotion.

"I can help you." She managed to mumble out, her mind a confusing mix of feelings.

"I don't need help." He growled, putting one foot in the stirrup and hefting himself up onto his horse. "Get lost, kid."

Something inside of her quietly sulked, but she pushed the feelings aside to focus on her last chance of getting out of here. Her brother would be coming out of the saloon any minute, and she was sure he would keep coming back until he found her. She had to keep him safe.

"I've seen him." She lied, trying to keep a straight face. "I've seen that man. And I know how to get to Waco. I have my own horse. I just have to get out of here. If we was to see him on the way…I could point him out to ya'." She bit her lip, hoping the lie was convincing. "I'm flat broke, mister. If ya' could just provide me and my horse with food until we get to Waco, I will gladly do anything ya' need me to. I kin' cook, too, if that makes a diffrence'."

Heero tensed for a moment as he stared down at her. He looked her point blank in the eyes. Though she was tempted to look away, she didn't, and she stared back at him, blue meeting blue. Her heart was beating wildly – he looked capable of killing her so easily – but behind the coldness, she thought she caught a glimpse of sadness behind his eyes.

"Fine." He grunted, looking away first.

*A Wizard card holdout was a device used in the west by gamblers to cheat. It held a card up your sleeve.


	4. The Road to Waco

AN: I've noticed a few reviews mentioning my poor usage of an accent, especially in the first chapter. And from the amount of hits I have on the first chapter and the lack of hits I have on the second and third, they're right. What I was trying to convey in Relena's journal entries was her lack of an education, so she spelled the words the way she said them – not in an attempt on my part to enhance her drawl. But I don't think it's coming off that way, and I'm thinking of re-editing the entire first chapter. Thanks for your criticism and your approval! I'm working on it.

**Let Go Your Heart**

Chapter Four

By: Nena

* * *

"_No one ever told me that grief felt so like fear."_

- C.S. Lewis

* * *

He was absolutely infuriating.

Heero Yuy shook his head, growling under his breath. Behind him, the boy was joyfully humming some children's song. He had never met someone so…_perky_…in his entire life. He didn't feel perky. He felt like reaching behind him and grabbing the boy by the neck, shoving his face into the brown, hot dust.

He enjoyed his privacy. He didn't want to feel anything, didn't want any sort of memory of humanity at its limited supply of "best". He didn't want to think about Mae and the fear he had of forgetting her, of how, for a moment, he was naively happy with her, even if they would never be able to have the things they wanted.

"Oh the old gray mare, she ain't what she used to be, ain't what she used to be, ain't what she used to be…the old gray mare, she ain't what she used to be…"

His eye twitched. There was a pause in the song as the boy took a swallow out of his water canteen, gulping down the water obnoxiously and allowing it to run down his throat. The hat covered most of the upper half of his face, so he never did get a good look at him, but little bits of blonde hair were jutting out of the bottom and slick against his cheeks and neck. The horse he was on was a good breed and seemed tame enough, following his orders and seeming at one with his rider.

He turned back around to focus on the road ahead of them. He really hoped they were heading in the right direction. The boy had said that he knew the way to Waco, but Heero was already well educated in the geography of Texas, having taught it to his students. He didn't need him for that.

In fact, he really didn't know why he had agreed to let him come along at all. The boy had said that he had seen Treize, and that was definitely a perk…recognition was a basic commodity of hunting down the man you were trying to kill. He was wondering if it was worth it, though. He was extremely skinny…he looked like the wind would blow him over at any moment. Even for a young man he was slender.

"The old gray mare, she kicked on a whiffletree…"

He turned around and shot the boy an icy glare. He abruptly stopped in the middle of his song and tensed, wide-eyed. The horse reacted by snorting and stopping in mid-stride, shaking his muzzle against the too-tight reins.

Satisfied, Heero turned his head and tried, once again, to focus on his journey and what this new addition would cause. They had left Uvalde early that morning after buying a few supplies and rations (as well as a few odd spices, flour, and other things the kid had said would help with food on the journey), and now, the sun was beginning to set over the horizon. They would have to make camp at some point, and the boy barely had two cents to his name. He wondered vaguely how someone that young ended up on their own, but it wasn't really his business. They wouldn't be friends. They were just using each other.

"My name is Lenny."

Heero shut his eyes for a moment, annoyed, and then opened them. If he was expecting a reply, Lenny would find out very quickly that Heero was not a talker. There was an awkward silence (on Lenny's part, at least) before Lenny once attempted conversation.

"That's a nice horse. He got a name?"

The drawl in his voice was overwhelming. This kid must have been _way_ back-woods…

"I say, yer' horse got a name?"

"No." He grunted.

"He new, then?"

Heero clenched the reins tightly in his hands.

"No."

Meanwhile, Relena was attempting to keep her nerves under control. This guy was scary.

"Oh. Well, this here's Sanc. He's my buddy."

Relena patted her horse tenderly against his neck, running the mane of hair between her fingers. There was a genuine smile on her face as she stared down at him. Then she frowned as she thought about something, a "v" creasing down her forehead as she stared at the back of Heero's hat.

"Yer' horse ain't got a name? Every horse needs a name, mister. Even if it's just to get his attention. Ain't right, a nice horse like that all…nameless…"

"_Isn't_." Heero seethed between his teeth, the teacher coming out in him.

"What?"

"It _isn't_ right. That is proper grammar. Your speech and accent are ridiculous."

She stuck her tongue out at him, even though he wasn't looking in her direction. She was just trying to be friendly, but this man seemed to ward off friendliness like an infectious disease. She wasn't used to the way he deliberately separated himself from her – the Dorlians were a very open and affectionate family. Heero's blatant disregard and coldness toward Relena unnerved her, but if she could just make it to Waco, she would be safe. And her family would be safe.

She shivered, suddenly aware of how chilly it had gotten – and that the last light of day was sifting away beyond the horizon. Her butt-bone was sore, and she winced as she shifted on the saddle. Ahead of her, Heero abruptly stopped and hopped off of his horse. He stood still for a moment and stared blankly into the distance, judging the time of day and the number of miles they had made since that morning. He turned to look at her.

"The distance from Uvalde to Waco is roughly a little over 200 miles."

He seemed to ponder his own words for a moment, as if he wasn't really speaking to her, but working out something in his head. Then, he suddenly looked up, as if reaching a decision, and began unloading his horse.

"We'll camp here, for now."

Relena looked around – there was nothing around here for miles. She was stuck in the middle of nowhere with this man, who could be a trained killer for all she knew, and they would be sleeping very close to one another.

Relena began to panic.

She couldn't move. Her hands gripped the reins sharply as she sat still, staring off into the distance. Sanc sensed her uneasiness and moved around sporadically, her mood affecting him. By the time she realized what was happening, Heero had already unloaded everything and was beginning to build a fire. She watched as he struck the flint, the wood immediately catching fire underneath it. It lit up his face for the first time as he looked down at it, taking his hat off. His hair was falling carelessly, spiky in an unusual sort of way. Prussian blue eyes stared apathetically into the flames as they grew, and Relena wondered for a moment why there was something in her that wanted to wrap her arms around him and tell him that everything would be fine. She had only met him that morning.

His eyes shifted from the fire to her face suddenly, as if he only just now realized she was there, but she knew that wasn't true. She didn't think anything could take this man by surprise. And then he reached down and began to tug at his belt, the metal clanking as it hit the ground…

She looked down quickly, her face turning beet-red. The slight ruffle of clothing in front of her made her quickly turn around and face the other direction, but she stopped her frantic behavior for a moment, reminding herself that she _was_ supposed to be male and that this shouldn't be a problem. She took a deep breath and began to unload her humble amount of supplies off of Sanc, most of which were the foods Heero had bought this morning. She would make sure and do her best in the cooking…because it was the only real thing she had to offer him, and pretty much the only thing she had been honest with him about.

Sanc stared straight ahead as she reached up to wrap her arms around his neck and began to remove the bit, halter and saddle. He really was a very good horse…and her only memory of home. She reached forward and pressed her face into his brown mane, inhaling the thick, sweaty scent of horse and leather. One big, brown glassy eye stared down at her as she clenched the hair between her hands and exhaled slowly through her mouth.

Heero watched Lenny from across the fire silently, having already lain down with his face toward the fire. This kid was hiding something…he was running away. For whatever reason, it didn't matter, so long as he didn't get in Heero's way doing it. The curious part of his mind wanted to know what weighed so heavily on him– which was odd in itself – but his logical side overrode it. He didn't need to know. He didn't need to get close to anybody right now.

Lenny turned around slowly – almost shyly, Heero noted – and glanced his way. Big blue eyes looked down at him for a moment and then he began to attempt some sort of padding by using his bags as cushion. Heero didn't take his eyes off of him the entire time, and his scrutiny made Lenny nervous, but Heero didn't care. He'd have to get used to it.

Finally, satisfied that he wasn't going to get anymore comfortable, Lenny sprawled out on the dirt and yawned softly, before turning his back to Heero from across the fire and closing his eyes.

"You aren't going to take off your hat?" Heero asked, wondering why he cared in the first place. Lenny stiffened for a moment but didn't turn around.

"No. I like wearing it to sleep."

"It's uncomfortable."

What was wrong with him?

"If it's all the same to you, mister, I'd just like to sleep in my hat."

Heero grimaced for a moment and was silent. He watched as Lenny slowly relaxed back into whatever nightly routine he had of going to sleep.

"Kid, just - "

Lenny suddenly groaned and flipped over onto his side, glaring at Heero from across the fire.

"I got head lice, alright? I don't wanna' spread it to you or the horses."

There was a moment as the two glared at each other before Lenny blinked first and lost the battle of wills. He turned over once again on his side.

Heero rolled onto his back and crossed his arms over his head, resting it against his palms. He stared quietly up at the night sky as random stars twinkled at will, the reflection of their light in his own Prussian blue orbs. His eyelids slowly drifted close as he tried hard not to think about anything but counting every star in the galaxy.

A slight ruffle of pages caught his attention and he snapped open his eyes warily. Across the fire, Lenny was still facing away but had leaned up to rest his head on one hand and was using his other hand to handle whatever it was he was reading. Other than that there was no other sound but the wind blowing softly outside and the fire popping. Heero had gotten so used to sleeping out here on his own that any noise at all was a distraction, but he could handle a few ruffled pages.

Relena looked down at the pages quietly, trying to get some sort of guidance out of the old Bible that had been a present from her mother. The pages were yellowed and torn in some places, but it was her lifeline out here. She was scared. Scared of this strange man, scared of being out in the middle of nowhere with him, and scared that her brother would somehow find her and get himself in trouble. And she missed her family so much. She glanced over the words quickly, but one verse stuck out to her. She read it, devouring the words, peace springing forth in her heart.

_I sought the LORD, and he heard me, and delivered me from all my fears. They looked unto him, and were lightened: and their faces were not ashamed. This poor man cried, and the LORD heard him, and saved him out of all his troubles. The angel of the LORD encampeth round about them that fear him, and delivereth them. O taste and see that the LORD is good: blessed is the man that trusteth in him. O fear the LORD, ye his saints: for there is no want to them that fear him. The young lions do lack, and suffer hunger: but they that seek the LORD shall not want any good thing. – Psalm 34: 4-10_

She read over the verse three times before finally smiling and closing the Bible, given the encouragement she needed. She glanced up at the same stars that Heero had before, only they meant something a little different to her.

"I trust You." She whispered into the darkness. Heero stirred across the fire and she shut her eyes, saying her prayers. She asked for forgiveness for lying to Heero about so many things, she asked for protection over her family and their journey…and she prayed for the stranger.

--

_The air smelled very sweet, like honey. The world around him was fuzzy, so he knew he was dreaming, but little outlines of their home still appeared in his vision. He was dressed in a brown pair of corduroy pants and brown boots, a thin off-white shirt coming undone at the top to reveal his chest. Everything had a slight glow to it. He heard laughing – children's laughter across the porch. He glanced out the door and saw three blonde-headed children playing Ring Around the Rosy in the grass, all of them dressed in white little potato sacks. He smiled genuinely at them as they continued playing, unaware of his gaze._

"_I'm in here, baby." He heard a voice call out to him. He turned around quickly and walked down the familiar hallway of his home toward an open door. The kitchen._

_He pressed hesitantly against the door. Mae was sitting inside the windowsill, facing away from him, her legs dangling off the side. She was absolutely glowing, the light causing her white dress to blind his eyes slightly and lightening her brown hair to a muted blonde. He glided over to her and touched her shoulder. She turned her face to him – nearly blinding him with the light shining from what seemed like every pore of her body – and clear blue eyes stared lovingly back at him._

_He frowned. Mae had hazel eyes._

--

Heero awoke groggily to the smell of pancakes. He sat up and shook his head, trying to recall the last few moments of his dream. He turned his head and saw a small pile of pancakes next to the fire in a small black frying pan, but no Lenny in sight. He scowled under his breath, certain that he had already been deserted and ready to search for anything stolen, but looked over to see that Sanc was still where he had left him the night before. He stretched languidly and then got up and walked over toward the fire, his mouth already watering. He had been living off of the bare necessities the past few months. Pancakes were a privilege.

A breeze ruffled the pages of whatever book Lenny had been reading the night before. Heero walked over and crouched down next to it, flipping through a few pages. He glanced over the words and then closed it, looking at the cover.

Well, that certainly wasn't something you saw everyday.

--

Relena glanced wearily at a nearby rock that she could have sworn had moved, halfway into unzipping her trousers. She had held it for as long as she could, but she couldn't stand it anymore, and as soon as she was done making breakfast she had high-tailed it to go and do her business in the closest covering she could find.

Unfortunately, there wasn't much "coverage" around, and what should have taken only a couple of minutes turned into about 30. It also led her further and further away from the protection of her horse and Heero, and there were reports of Indians ambushing travelers around here. She quickly did her business and left, walking quickly back to camp. Her hair was a tangled mess (even though it was quite short), but she knew it couldn't be helped. Even if Heero had seen her with hair, he couldn't have guessed that she was a boy. At least, she hoped not.

She spotted him as she rounded a large, drying boulder, digging into his breakfast. She had to smile to herself at the sight of it. At least there was one thing she could do for him. She didn't know what secrets he was hiding, but she knew there was something about him that made him as intense and anti-social as he was. He turned his head at the sound of her approaching footsteps and blinked at her, before turning back to his meal. She sat down across from him and took off her boot, shaking out a rock that had gotten stuck in there through her short trek through Texan soil alone.

"What's on the agenda for today, mister?" She asked, nervous for some reason. Heero swallowed his last bite of food slowly, not really glancing her way. It was like he barely knew she existed.

"We will probably make it to Waco in three or four day's time. Probably the same schedule we had yesterday."

She nodded and set her chin in her hand as she looked off into the distance. Heero watched her for a moment, thoughtful.

"Breakfast was good. Thank you."

She turned to him and smiled.


	5. Stupid Hairbrush

AN: I don't own Gundam Wing.

**Let Go Your Heart**

Chapter Five

By: Nena

* * *

_"You used to be much more…'muchier'. You've lost your 'muchness'."_

- The Mad Hatter, Tim Burton's _Alice in Wonderland_

* * *

It came as no small surprise to Relena when Heero began to acknowledge her name. They had been traveling for several days now and had eventually become accustomed to one another's habits, so the first time she heard "Lenny" instead of "kid" made her smile. Heero's grumpy, anti-social mood was still his prominent personality trait, but she found that when she cooked, he was better. He hadn't begun to trust her yet, but he was opening up to her a little at a time. In the back of her mind, she still wondered sometimes at the fury behind his gaze when things would get quiet and he would focus in on the journey. There were moments she had begun to notice when he would sink in on himself, his hands gripping the reins tightly. There was never any kind of emotion on Heero's face, just the tightness in his shoulders and the way his hands would sometimes shake. She found herself trying to joke or sing to him when that happened, just so she could take his mind out of that deep and desperate place. Sometimes it worked.

The past day, however, hadn't been as joyous as she had thought it would be. They were very close to Waco. She was afraid. Heero was more stoic, however, and it was making her nervous. She knew that he had been traveling all over the place looking for the man with the familiar face and had only come up with more and more references to clues. She didn't know what had driven him to the point where he was at now, as if this were a sentencing or penance for something. She didn't know why he didn't just stop looking for him and let the Sheriff's department handle it. The trip had become more and more solemn and less hopeful with every mile they traveled, him for his own reasons, and her because she wasn't sure what she would do once she got there. Waco was far enough away that she longer worried whether or not her brother would be able to find her. She _did_ worry about what she was going to do when she got there. She couldn't possibly hope that a local saloon would have a sudden open position for a dealer. So, Relena found herself praying for an open door somewhere along the way. She was at a loss as for what to do next, but she found herself trusting in the God she served, trying not to think too hard or long on the _how's_ and _when's_.

She also prayed for her family. She prayed for protection and provision. She prayed for courage and boldness.

But more than anything, she prayed for Heero.

It wasn't that she heard some voice from Heaven telling her to. There weren't even any visible signs. It was more like something coming from the inside of her that pushed him to the forefront of her mind every time she closed her eyes to pray. She didn't even know what she was praying for him about…he had so many secrets. Relena had seen the way Heero would oddly stare at her right before they both drifted to sleep, when she would scan over the words in her Bible. The first couple of nights had been unnerving, having his gaze settle upon her when she would try to focus on the Word. She had to read a verse four times before she could actually stop and think about what it meant. But then they had both become accustomed to her nightly routine, and he stopped looking at her after a few nights. Most nights he would lay flat on is back and stare up at the night sky with his hands over his chest, his deep blue eyes flickering back and forth across the galaxy. It was hard not to stare at him.

"There." He said suddenly, halting his horse. Relena looked up and saw that the distant lights from Waco were lighting up the night air. A few people – more like specks from this distance – were walking through the streets, some on horseback. Someone was languidly playing a guitar, basic chords traveling to their ears. Relena immediately felt tired at just seeing a large hotel next to the entrance of the city, but she had no money and no way of staying the night at a place like that. She would have to end up sleeping alone in some dark alley tonight. She fought the water building up in her eyes. What was she supposed to do now?

"Let's push the horses the rest of the distance. I'm ready to sleep in a real bed." Heero said gruffly, then "Hya'd" and took off in a gallop. She stared after him a moment, then looked up at the sky.

"Your turn." She said, then took off after him.

--

A bell tinkled as they walked through the _Grand Waco Hotel_. The smell of beef and cornbread were pungent in the air as, in a nearby dining room, the patrons were having supper. Glasses and silverware clinked together as children's laughter floated. There was a couple taking an afternoon promenade who passed by Heero and Relena as they made their way out the door. The woman wore a lovely pink dress that was form fitting at the top (no doubt by the corset) and billowed at the bottom. A bonnet was tied around her face where little wisps of dark brown hair escaped. The man wore a nice dark suit and hat, and they linked arms as they moved gracefully through the halls. They seemed very young. Perhaps newlyweds.

Relena felt like she was sinking. There were so many things that she doubted she would ever be able to experience. This would be where she and Heero would part ways. She glanced over at him as he leaned casually over the counter and spoke to the clerk. He had taken his hat off once he walked through the door – Heero may have been cold, but he knew manners. The clerk pushed his thick glasses up with his index finger and studied the tender Heero had slid across the counter.

Resigned, she turned around and made her way back out the door. Sanc was tied up outside. She walked sullenly over to him and rubbed his neck, pressing her face into his mane. The air was chilly outside, so she hurried to find some sort of shelter as she untied him and began walking beside him through the dark streets. She had just made it to a small saloon when she heard a voice call out her name. She spun around to find Heero a few feet away from her, looking mildly annoyed. He was flustered, as if he had been running.

"Where are you going?" He said, eyeing her suspiciously. Her mouth was dry as she tried to form a coherent thought – the last thing she expected was for him to talk to her again.

"We made it to Waco," She said softly, nervously running her fingers through Sanc's mane. "That was all you promised me. I didn't want to be a burden."

If it was possible, Heero's brow rose about 1/12th of an inch. "You aren't a burden, Lenny. Your cooking isn't half-bad. I got us two rooms and stables for the night," He said, turning around. He motioned for her to follow. "But, the stables are _that_ way." He said, grinning.

She stared at him with her mouth open, a little dumbfounded. When she finally got her act together she walked quickly behind Heero, saying "Thank You Jesus Thank You Jesus Thank You Jesus!" under her breath the whole way back.

When they had fed and washed the horses and set them down for the night, the duo walked tiredly back to their rooms. Relena yawned softly as she dragged her feet behind her, the thought of the bath in the adjacent room a welcome invitation. Heero was quiet beside her, his mind probably on a million different things. She reached her room and they both stopped as she unlocked the door and stepped inside, pulling her few belongings in with her. Her Bible fell with a _thump_ on the ground and Heero and she both reached down at the same time to pick it up, which, of course, resulted in a collision. Somehow or another her chin smashed into the top of his head.

"Ow." She laughed, rubbing her chin. Heero rubbed the back of his head with a crooked smile on his face and reached down again to pick up the Bible. Relena watched him as he came back up and stared at her, smiling.

"Sorry, partner." He said, handing her the leather-bound book. She reached for it and her hand touched his for a second, but when she pulled her hand away, it felt like her whole arm was on fire. She glanced up at him and saw that he now an odd look on face. There really was no other way to describe it. She pushed her bag inside with her foot and turned back around to close the door.

"'Night, mister. Thank ya' fer' yer' hospitality."

Heero winced as she went to close the door and stuck his hand out, blocking her.

"We have _got_ to work on that accent."

She sighed and rolled her eyes at him. "You are so particular."

Heero smiled at her. "If it's all the same, we really have to work on that. You read _that_ thing enough to know vocabulary. Perhaps you should start reading it out loud."

"Tonight?" She voiced, yawning.

"No, not tonight." He said, still grinning. They both stared awkwardly at each other for a moment before he turned and walked off toward his room. Relena peeked out of the door and watched him as he reached his door, shook his head, then walked inside.

She smiled to herself as she closed the door softly and set the locks. The warm, fluffy bed was calling out her name, but the smell of her clothing and the dirty feel of her skin were overpowering it. She stripped down in the middle of the room and walked toward the already-filled bath, which was one of the hotel's commodities – first night, free water. There was still a little steam rising from the tub. Realizing that she could finally take her hat off, she reached and yanked it off her head, allowing her growing hair to tumble down. It had grown quite a lot since the first time her brother had chopped it off, but she had had nothing sharp to cut it with again, so she had been forced to make up a lie about head lice and wear this stupid hat all day everyday for weeks.

She stared at herself in the mirror. She had gotten thinner, but she had started filling out in other places. It made keeping up appearances a little harder. It wasn't enough to make it obvious that she was a girl, though. Her hair was a tangled mess around her face, and she saw that the hotel also proved a comb. She stared at it for a moment and started crying.

"What is _wrong_ with me? It's just a stupid hairbrush!" She muttered, patting both of her cheeks. "Get a grip, Dorlian."

Relena turned around and stepped slowly into the water. She grabbed a bar of soap and began to run it slowly over her legs and arms, the harsh smell of lye soap filling up the room. By the time Relena had finished bathing, she had fallen asleep in the tub.

She awoke a few hours later to the sound of giggling outside her door. Glancing out the window, she noted that it had to be either very late or very early. Her skin felt wrinkled from being in the water too long. She quickly dried off and slipped on a large shirt as she tiptoed her way to the door. She creaked it open slightly and watched as two women – they must have been prostitutes – made their way down the hall.

"Did you see him?" One with long, curly black hair whispered, giggling to her friend. "He was incredibly handsome. I was all hot and bothered the moment he walked through the door."

"He's probably lonely. There's no way he'd turn _both_ of us down. Two for the price of one." The other said. Her voice sounded raspy, as if she had smoked too many cigars. Her hair was a dark brown and she was shorter than her friend.

They then proceeded to describe parts of the man's anatomy that turned Relena a deep shade of scarlet and sent her almost slamming the door in alarm, but she stopped as she saw them halt at Heero's door. Her eyes grew wide as the shorter one knocked curtly against the wood.

They both tapped their feet impatiently as they waited. After a few minutes, the door opened quickly. The two women backed away for whatever reason. Relena couldn't see Heero from her vantage point.

"_What_?" He growled.

The taller one smiled charmingly at him as she flipped her hair over her shoulder. "Oh, don't be like that, sugar. We were just tryin' to have a little fun." She giggled. She waved a large red fan in front of her face as her eyes roamed him up and down. The smaller one stepped closer toward the door.

"Wouldn't you like a little company?" She said raspily, reaching out a finger to touch him. Before she knew what had happened, Heero had slapped her hand harshly toward the ground.

"Don't touch me. Get out of here. Tell all of your friends I'm not interested, either. I don't care how good they look."

Heero abruptly slammed the door in their faces, earning a yell from one of the other rooms. The women stood in shock in the hallway, and Relena grinned to herself as she quietly shut her door.

She walked back over to her bed and pulled back the covers. She sat up for a moment as she attempted to comb her damp hair, humming _Amazing Grace_ to herself. When her head hit the pillow, she was out.

--

They were on the road again by mid-morning. She and Heero both enjoyed a quiet breakfast in the dining room and were happy to see that their horses were washed and looked better, less tired. It was a nice warm day outside as they walked through the streets of the town. The first place they stopped at was the saloon that Relena had happened across the night before, which was mostly empty save for a few gamblers at a table. They glanced at Heero's photo and denied any knowledge of the man. They immediately walked out, Heero's mood darkening. They spent the day trying to cover as much ground of the city as they could, trying liquor stores, textiles, general stores, and banks as well as the saloons. No one recognized the face. Not a single person. Heero's patience had diminished with every negative answer. He had stopped speaking to Relena at around noon, and she had decided it was in her best interest not to say anything as she watched his hands clench into tighter fists with each passing hour.

They were passing through an alley when Relena watched, mortified, as two naked women and a man barreled their way out of the back entrance of another saloon. The women were beautiful, and the man looked wealthy. They were obviously intoxicated, and one of the women glanced their way. She smiled at them.

"Hey, handsome. Why don't you two mosey on over here? We'll make it a party."

Relena swiftly turned her head and walked away. She glanced at Heero, who had barely even acknowledged that the woman was speaking to him. He just kept walking, not looking her way. Behind them, clearly offended and in her cups, the woman huffed and stomped her foot on the ground. She placed her hands on her hips and squinted her black eyes at Heero, her makeup smeared down her face from sweat and who-knows-what-else.

"Aye, don't I know you?"

Heero kept walking. He actually started speeding up. Relena stopped and looked around, confused. The women started yelling at them both, pointing her finger at them. She was suddenly loud and obnoxious as she called out his name.

"I heard about you. You're the school teacher from Maverick. I'd recognize your face from the papers any day of the week."

Heero suddenly stopped. He turned around slowly, maliciously glaring at the woman from the small distance between them. Relena took a step back. She had never seen him so angry. The woman, obviously too drunk to understand the danger she was putting herself in, kept on. Relena couldn't peel her eyes away from her, no matter how embarrassed she was at the woman's nakedness.

"Yep. It's you, alright. It's a real shame what happened to your wife. How long ago was the funeral?"

Relena jerked her attention back to Heero. His jaw was clenched painfully as he dug his fingers into the palms of his hands. He glanced her way, watching as the surprise littered upon her face, as well as a shocked sort of confusion. It was a credit to her sanity that she didn't run away screaming right then and there. He looked ready to snap.

And then, against all logic, she walked slowly over to him. The woman was spouting off nonsense behind them, and Relena was sure that if she didn't do something, something bad was bound to happen. Heero watched her every step as she made her way over to him, silent, barely controlled fury in his eyes. She stood directly in front of him and placed a shaky hand on his shoulder as he concentrated on her face, finding something in her eyes that she wasn't sure of, but seemed to keep him grounded.

"Go back to the horses," She said softly, staring him directly in the eyes. "I'll take care of this."

He stared at her for a long moment, trying to make up his mind. And then, just as quickly, he turned around and walked off. Relena watched him as he disappeared behind a building, and then she turned around and faced the woman who was staggering on her feet as she tried to go after Heero. Relena blocked her way and glared up at her, shoving the sketch into her face. She staggered backwards.

"Do you recognize this man?"

Glaring, the woman flicked her gaze down to the drawing and tried to focus in on the picture through her slovenly haze of vision. Relena resisted the urge to gag at the pungent smell of alcohol that she reeked of, turning her face away from the woman as she exhaled.

"No." The woman said, snuffing Relena, then turning to catch up with her friends.

--

She caught up with Heero later back at the hotel. The horses were saddled and all of their things were loaded up, and Heero stood there leaning against his horse and tapping his foot. She walked up to him, unsure of what kind of mood he would be in. He seemed a little more in control of himself…his hair was damp. So, he had taken to the bath. Her gaze flickered over his handsome face, though cold and devoid of emotion as it was, and she resisted the illogical urge to run her fingers through his wet hair. He turned and looked at her and righted himself up off the horse. He placed a satchel in her hands.

"You can go inside and eat dinner, and then we'll saddle up."

"You're leaving?" She said, disappointment evident in her voice. She had hoped to stay one more night…

"_We're_ leaving. Nobody here knows anything." He stated. He didn't sound angry or sad or anything…he just sounded succumbing. She nodded and gave him a small smile, then headed back inside. She was a little sorry that they hadn't found anything, but she was also happy that she would get to be under his wing for a little longer.

--

They headed out of town late in the afternoon. Heero was silent again. It saddened Relena that he had gone back into whatever secluded place he was in his mind again. She didn't suspect they would do much talking that night. They traveled for three hours before deciding to build a campfire and settle down, Heero not letting her know where they were headed. After they had set everything up, she lay down on her thin spread of padding and flipped onto her side as she opened her Bible.

"Read it out loud tonight." He stated, lying on his back and staring up at the stars like he did every night. She looked at him for a moment before glancing back down at the pages. The Bible had opened on its own to Psalm 139.

"O LORD, thou hast searched me, and known me. Thou knowest my downsitting and mine uprising, thou understandest my thought afar off. Thou compassest my path and my lying down, and art acquainted with all my ways. For there is not a word in my tongue, but, lo, O LORD, thou knowest it altogether. Thou hast beset me behind and before, and laid thine hand upon me. Such knowledge is too wonderful for me; it is high, I cannot attain unto it. Whither shall I go from thy spirit? or whither shall I flee from thy presence? If I ascend up into heaven, thou art there: if I make my bed in hell, behold, thou art there. If I take the wings of the morning, and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea; Even there shall thy hand lead me, and thy right hand shall hold me. If I say, Surely the darkness shall cover me; even the night shall be light about me. Yea, the darkness hideth not from thee; but the night shineth as the day: the darkness and the light are both alike to thee. For thou hast possessed my reins: thou hast covered me in my mother's womb. I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvellous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well. My substance was not hid from thee, when I was made in secret, and curiously wrought in the lowest parts of the earth. Thine eyes did see my substance, yet being unperfect; and in thy book all my members were written, which in continuance were fashioned, when as yet there was none of them. How precious also are thy thoughts unto me, O God! How great is the sum of them! If I should count them, they are more in number than the sand: when I awake, I am still with thee…"

She glanced back at him and saw that his eyes were closed. She smiled, then closed the Bible and prayed for him before falling asleep.

--

Something was threatening to awaken her from her sleep. She heard an annoying sound…not loud, but consistent. She attempted to squeeze her eyes shut against the sound and fall back asleep, but it persisted. She groaned, half-awake.

And then someone yelled.

She jerked upright and tried to focus her eyes on where the sound emitted from. Heero was across from her, on his back and writhing in his sleep. He clawed at the dirt with his fingers, his eyes shut tight, having a nightmare. He was sweating…he had gotten dangerously close to the fire. She jumped up out of bed and ran over to him and tried to haul him back by placing her arms under his shoulders, afraid that if she woke him suddenly he would react and stick his foot into the fire.

"Mae…" He mumbled, his voice raspy. Relena dragged him backwards, falling down with him when they were a safe-enough distance away from the fire. Somehow, he ended up with his back against her chest, his head lying against her shoulder. His clothes were soaked through. There was no telling how long he had been shaking like that…

He yelled again suddenly, his hands gripping the sides of her legs painfully. She bit the inside of her cheek as he spit forth a stream of profanities she was shocked to hear come out of his mouth. Not knowing what else to do, she pressed her forehead into his back and rubbed her hands back and forth over his arms as they clenched tighter and tighter against her legs.


End file.
